Haters gonna hate

Tips to deal with your enemies

Sometimes a simple 'hello' is enough to set you off, because it comes from the person that rubs you the wrong way. It could be that dummy at work, the douche checking you out in the gym or your beloved mom. Wouldn't life be easier when we just don't have to deal with people who push our buttons? If you have the chance to cut them loose, don't wait! For haters that keep coming back like Candy Crush invitations, here are some tips.

Find what's rotten

Fruit flies, it looks like they enjoy to get the worst out of me. The death of their brothers and sisters by my blazing spray can doesn't seem to scare them. Why do they keep coming back? (Apparently, they can smell you rotten fruit from miles away) Like these little demons, haters keep creeping up on you without asking. The first one is unpleasant, but once you have faced thousands of them any tiny brown spot brings out the worst in you. Does your new intern really deserve your rant on how you like your coffee only with sugar produced from that organic farm in Bolivia? Maybe it was your frustration of your failed Tinder date  last night that set you off. Or your intern might remind of you how you were always punished by your mom when doing things wrong. Find out what triggers your allergies to manage them. When someone pushes that button again, count to ten and think if the other really deserves your tantrum. You sure as hell don't want your co-workers to start treating you like you have the plague, right?     

Toughen your Achilles' heel

You train so hard to grow a thick skin, but haters always seem to hit you in your Achilles' heel, your weak spot. Instead of taking your sword and start slashing around, take a step back and analyze your vulnerability. We usually get hurt by comments, because it resonates with an insecurity we have. "Are you going to eat that double down bacon burger all by yourself?", asks a random stranger. One might just want join you for a romantic KFC dinner, but you may find this offensive since you just had to upgrade your wardrobe with a bigger size. Start working on your insecurities by acknowledging them. Embrace them by working on your confidence. Once you can say "Who cares that I can't bend my body like a pretzel!", you realize you are becoming invincible.   

Ask 'what would Yoda say?'

"I'm sorry, you are so right! And come to think of it, every time we argue you always were. I'm so stupid not to have seen your awesomeness all along!", says no one. Sometimes in our fights we feel the need to have the last word. What could start off with a disagreement on the best Ben&Jerry's flavor (CC Cookie Dough, duh!) can result in digging up the grudge you've built up on that prank your hater pulled off when you were five. There is no winning when you both lose your good mood over fight on ice cream. It's time to ask yourself and the other what's really going on. Start with a heart-to-heart on how the other makes you feel. Remember, it is not about whether the facts are right, but about how you and the other perceived it. With our hectic lives we just can't afford to lose our sleep over a stupid fight anymore, so start being the grown up. 

killenemiesWing Yan Man